0064Who ~ Me?

She’s Asking Me to Mentor Her

I shared a conversation with a friend who has spent a lot of time pouring into high school girls. For her, the relationships come very naturally as she makes herself available to spend time with young people she believes in.

In this particular conversation, she shared that a young woman had specifically asked her to “mentor” her. As we thought through what a conversation between the two of them might sound like, here’s what we came up with:

Here are some questions that might be helpful in determining the direction to go:

1 – What does she feel she is wanting from a mentoring relationship?

This is a good place to start because it:

  • helps her to think the answer through
  • helps you to gain more information
  • helps in making a good decision

2 – As she answers listen well, pray through and think about it. It’s ok not to give a quick answer. She will hopefully respect that you are taking the decision seriously.

As you listen for to her answers it can help you determine some additional questions to ask along the way in natural conversation.

  • Are you seeking accountability?
  • If so – in what areas?
  • Do you want to do a book study? Study a topic? Or maybe a book of the bible?

Maybe she’s just wanting to spend time together and discuss things & that’s ok.

  • How often were you hoping to meet?
  • Are you willing to let me ask you hard questions in order to be intentional?
  • Are you willing to be upfront with me knowing I have your best interest at heart?

Just a thought as you decide if you can or want to do this. Sometimes you need to put a time frame on it (not always). Maybe we could meet for 3 months or 6 months and then reevaluate at that point.

3 – Ask yourself:

  • What time do I have to offer? What fits best in my schedule? Am willing to ask hard questions?
  • How often is best for me? Where is best for meMy home? A coffee shop or bookstore setting?

Be careful not to make meeting her needs more important than caring for yourself and your family.

I’ve done it both ways and the latter is much more rewarding and obedient. Give out of an overflow of your own relationship with the Lord and your time with Him. Otherwise it’s your own effort and it won’t hold up for long. And in the long run, will not be good for her.

John 15 – 4 & 5 – Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

Has this been helpful?

You can find this and other helpful resources at Ruth’s Hope Resource Room

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