Nothing More Confusing – Guest Post

Tracey is a young 20 something wife and mother who is full of life and loves her family. She is passionate about her growing relationship with Christ and how to live in such a way that the Word of God is evidenced in her daily moments. She shares today in a very straightforward manner her longing for older women to understand what she and her peers need.  

You have often heard me speak of the value of investing in the generations that come after us.

Young woman have great need for older women to pour wisdom into them – to be available to “do life” with them.

At age 22, my friend Tracey responded to an email I sent her.

Would you mind putting into words your heart about older women investing in younger women.

Share please what you wish that our generation would understand about your needs & desires to be mentored / invested in / discipled.

She shared…

“There is nothing more confusing than being a young woman living in today’s society. This world offers a very twisted view of what a woman is supposed to be like.

I believe that because of the media and a lack of discipleship, many young women, including myself, have either strayed from the truth or have a total misconception of its value. I know that as a young and relatively new believer in Christ, I have had numerous conversations with my friends about the desire for a more authentic relationship with the Lord. However, we all have found that we are not sure what that looks like because we aren’t around it enough to receive the wisdom, discernment, and accountability necessary to become whom both we and the Lord desire for us to be.

Today, most women my age are finding their identities through success in the labor force, their bodies, and how many men find them attractive. It may be slightly unbelievable to consider this true- but trust me it is. We no longer look for respect because we either stopped receiving it long ago or we never even knew what it felt like to begin with.

In this, it is my desire to plead for myself and so many others whom have no idea what it is like to be a Godly woman through both the peaks and the valleys in life.

If I could share one truth with an older woman that was interested in investing in a lost generation, it would simply be that we NEED your commitment.

We need someone to stand by us like Jesus stood by his disciples. We need older women to be honest with us and not feel inferior of the so-called “age gap”.

Every woman alike faces the same temptations, same battles, and same triumphs; a woman, whether 18 or 82, is still a woman. We need advice on everything! Since older women have experienced much more in life, younger women look to them as examples.

I beg the older generations to please be the disciples that you are called to be, take up your cross and invest in the future. It takes commitment, patience, and perseverance; sounds like something we all have in common- Christianity. You never know, the women you invest in today may turn around and invest in tomorrow’s generation.

And Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you want to be my followers you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and follow me.” -Matthew 16:24”

Yours in Christ –


Can we take her words to heart and see what value we have to offer the generations coming after us? We don’t have to have the answers. We have to be willing to walk with them toward Christ in a very real way as we share in very natural relationship.

Let’s listen together and respond to the needs of Tracey and her peers.



Mentor Survey Says…Day 2

Yesterday began seven days of answers to a survey question regarding mentoring.

I asked seven women ranging in age from twenty-five to forty one key question regarding mentoring:

The question?

As you were seeking to find a mentor, what characteristics were you looking for in a woman who would invest in you?

The answer given by this young lady:

“Humility, gentleness, God-fearing, sound mind/discerning, clear/bold speaker ( not vague), read the Word regularly, prayer warrior, serves others, puts faith to action ( not a pew sitter/ all talk no action)” SF

On one hand the characteristics she is looking for will be exhibited toward her in relationship. Healthy, life-giving relationship. Creating a safe space in which to be herself, free of judgement, free to grow through whatever she faces.

On the other hand what she is looking for are characteristics that will be exhibited in the life of the one ‘doing life’ with her.

What we model makes a difference to those who are watching us live our lives.

I remember the first young lady who asked me to invest in her. When she asked me if I would be willing to mentor her, she said she had been watching me and considered me to be a Godly woman. Now, before you get carried away and think I am holier than thou – think again please. She was careful to observe me based on the criteria she had established. I would hope that what she saw was a desire to handle all things as best as possible in a way that drew others to God. Not necessarily free of conflict or confrontation, or sin, but handled with love, truth and repentance.

God is not looking for perfection any more than those who are seeking to find a mentor are – rather He is looking for those whose hearts are fully committed to Him (2 Chronicles 16:9).

And so is she…

To read Mentor Survey Says post Day 1, click here

Mentor Survey Says…

It’s familiar to most of us. The longstanding game show – Family Feud – currently hosted by Steve Harvey, presents the contestants with a survey question. Once a team wins the right, the huddle to come up with the most popular answers begins.

The question?

As you were seeking to find a mentor, what characteristics were you looking for in a woman who would invest in you?

Years ago when I met the first woman who would invest in my life in an intentional mentoring relationship, the word mentor was not part of my vocabulary. I recognized a need within me. A need to understand how to live this new life I had surrendered to. A life given up to my Lord and Savior. I sought hard after it in this new friend who I saw living in such a way that showed me she was living for Christ. With her life.

Women today battle epidemic spiritual hunger and loneliness for healthy relationships.

I have witnessed a tremendous desire in younger women to have those who have gone before them share life with them and offer support, encouragement and life experience they have gained along the journey.

My hearts desire is to see women risk engaging relationships across generational lines, because when we become real with one another it offers a safe space for personal growth.

Some women have the ability to articulate what it is they are looking for in a mentor or friend who might be willing to share this type of relationship with them.

Others do not have words to adequately describe what their heart longs for.

With a yearning deep inside, many women have shared their stories with me. Stories of how they have prayed and still wait to see who might be willing to intentionally invest in them.

For seven days I will share with you the answer to a survey question I asked seven young women age twenty-five to forty. Initially my intent was to tally the results and present the top answers, but once the answers were collected, though some were similar, I made a decision to present each to you in hopes you might see the heart of each individual woman.

The survey today says: “As I was seeking a mentor I was looking for someone who possessed willingness, genuineness, loyalty, honesty, authenticity, boldness, kindness and compassion”. JM

Are encouraged by what you read?

Encouraged, perhaps, because this helps you to see the needs of those around you.

Encouraged because you are already investing yourself in this type of relationship.

Encouraged because you see character qualities you possess listed.

I would love to hear your take away.

If you would like to answer the survey question please send it in an email to

Investment JOY


A friend sent me this picture from Lowes today. Amazing what we can do with phones today. I felt like I was standing there with her. Thank you Debbie for making my day!

She knows what these pitchers signify for me. The JOY of pouring our lives into another.

Gods Word tells us time and again to tell the generations to come what we have seen, what we have learned, that they too might know that He is God. And might praise Him.

One woman who is in her sixties pouring the truth of who God is in her life into a woman in her twenties and a woman in her fifties, who pours into women in their twenties and thirties and maybe even forties.

Titus 2 gives us a clear directive for the older woman to teach the younger woman. The older woman (I like to refer to her as the more seasoned woman – in terms of years lived) does this best by simply living life with the younger woman in such a way that the values and character are lived out pointing to the very character of Christ Himself. This is NOT teaching from a podium. It’s life on life. The gospel meeting life circumstances. Changing us both along the way.

Is someone pouring into your life in this way?

Are you pouring into someone else’s life this way?

I’d love to hear about it.

Leave a comment here but share more of your story with me by email –

Day 37 of 365 Days of JOY